Soulmates are real in my book, but I also believe we all do not simply have just one. You can have soulmates in romantic relationships, friendships and with pets! According to Amir Levine, MD and his well-written and researched article in The Washington Post, he claims that “we are all born with the brain neurocircuitry to see another person as more special that anyone else”. He also proves my thinking in saying “yes, you can have more than one soulmate.”
A cat can be a soulmate
It would be a very sad day to think that you would only have one soulmate and then if something happens to them and they leave Earth, you are supposed to wander around alone forever. My husband and I have discussed the theory at length and both agree that while we are each other’s soulmate, we would never want the other to be alone forever if something were to happen to one of us. Some people think we are morbid when we discuss this. I think we are smart and futuristic to think this way. Why wouldn’t you want your partner or spouse to continue to enjoy life if you weren’t around anymore?
We currently spend almost 24 hours a day together, but we also know how important alone time is. We do spend time apart at least once a day, whether we go off alone and read a book, walk in nature, create, or exercise. It’s important to understand that alone time is okay to want and you should try to make it happen if your soulmate needs it.
Long term friendships are often soulmates relationships
While we both know it’s okay to be alone, we both know that loneliness is a different thing. If you have lost your soulmate (or are in the process of losing one) and have been lonely, it’s okay to move forward into a new relationship. You have proven that you can be alone, but you don’t have to be lonely. You may want to try to find another soulmate, be it in the form of romance, friendship or a “pet-ship”.
In my contemplation on this topic, I think about how some of my soulmates have entered my life and also departed from my life. Some were friendships, some were romantic relationships and some were my beloved pets. Some were even serendipitous relationships or friendships that continue to come and go from my life.
A soulmate best friendship can last a lifetime
I wish I could say that every soulmate relationship in my life has been a great one, but I cannot. Some of my soulmate relationships (friendships and romantic relationships) were not all ones that brought joy to my life, but instead they brought me pain in the form of a lesson I needed to learn so I could move forward onto something better. At least that’s how I see it.
So much falling away, yet so much to gain. —Carolyn J. Braden
A Poem To A Lost Soulmate
You’ve lost your light
And gone to the other side
Your pride
will just have to hide
Until the time is right
I can’t help you anymore
But I will pray
that one day
You will see the light again
And begin
To love yourself
Because what I see in you
Is what I see in me
A heart that loves
Unconditionally
—For someone I used to know
If you can see a lesson that was served to you in a soulmate life situation or a relationship, you will never be sad for long after they leave you or you leave them. I like to send them prayers and good wishes instead of a hate-filled alternative (which is not healthy for you or anyone in your inner circle) and I suggest others do the same. If your soulmate relationships refuse to grow, it’s time for them to go. It may be hard to say goodbye, but sometimes it’s necessary for your own personal growth.
A pet can provide a great soulmate relationship
A Hopeful Knowing Prayer
Oh God
I hope I did at least one thing right
Said what needed to be said
I know I did
I hope I cared enough
Loved enough
and was enough
I know I was
I hope and pray
we can one day
happily enjoy life together again
I know we will
—For those I had to let go
Great soulmate relationships can get better as we mature
My current number one soulmate relationship with my husband has not always been easy, but it’s one that I love to continue to learn and grow with. We support each other, listen to each other, have as much fun as possible and truly love each other. Twenty years of a healthy partnership with my husband has made me understand I am capable of growing in a great way as well as being capable of having a true and deep, meaningful love for someone.
While I have a lot of great soulmate relationships that are merely getting stronger, some continue to fall away. I’ve had to let go of many soulmate relationships that simply had to go, despite having calm, resolution-driven conversations with them. It’s odd how you can have a wonderful, healthy conversation with a soulmate friend one day and the next day, everything you both talked about gets thrown out the window by them. When this happens, I have to make a tough decision to let them go.
Some people have said I am mean to remove someone from my life. I simply think that the people that say I’m mean are actually mean themselves. They would rather have constant up and down dramas in their life, which causes drama in their inner circle’s lives. That’s mean.
A soulmate group of friends
I want peace for me and my inner circle, so I will do whatever is necessary to make that happen. Even if I am called more hurtful things in the process. Those that call me mean (or a lot of other names) will just have to find peace on their own, because they are not a friend and never really was and I can’t help them, so I must move on from them too.
People that call me names and purposely try to upset me consistently end up in my “toxic relationship” file. I’m not proud that I have one, but I bet that many of you out there have one too. These people may be soulmates, but they definitely are there to teach me what I do not want in a soulmate friendship.
Empathy goes a long way to a certain extent
I wrote about these toxic types of relationships here. It’s interesting that the person I wrote the letter to (referred to in the article) actually ended up being a toxic relationship in my life. Re-reading the letter I wrote to them helped me understand how toxic they were in a big way. I fully understood this after I also tried talking to them, wrote them several letters, asked them things like “are you okay” in conversations, guided them to therapy (via giving them examples of my own experiences) and more.
They have had a lot of painful moments happen in their life, which I understand and have empathy for (and said this directly to them), but after many years of the same repeated dramas, I can’t continue to help them until they help themself.
“Thanks for the memories”
Check out our quick cute video about the names we’ve been called over the years on our YouTube channel @carolynjbraden or below:
I still send love to all my soulmate relationships and wish them well. According to Psychology Today’s expert Kathy McCoy, Ph.D, in a soulmate relationship, “you can grow to love the real person and accept who he or she is”, which is what I have learned to do. I accept people for who they are and love them, but if the fun or encouragement for growth never returns, abuse or manipulation occurs consistently, or my love is shut down, made fun of or no longer returned, I let them go.
Soulmate relationships can be very powerful
Even though all my soulmate relationships did not work out, I can only feel love for them and I feel peace, which is something everyone deserves. I also feel powerful. The ability to say no to someone or something can be groundbreaking. When you finally are able to say no, your frequency (your energy or vibrations) can morph into something wonderful. When you love yourself enough to say no, things that no longer serve your best interest fall away and a sense of magic begins in your own life.
After letting go, you will become a beacon of light that will attract more and better relationships into your life. —Carolyn J. Braden
A soulmate is someone who you should be able to be fully yourself around
The New Me
Hello new you
Welcome to the world
The old YOU had enough
Reached its boiling point
And now knows what you need
Peace, no drama, only love
Goodbye old you
Welcome the new
—To myself, whom I finally love
A soulmate can be a spouse
Here’s a final message I wrote to those soulmate relationships that either worked out or didn’t. It’s how I feel everyone should understand their soulmate relationships. Always remember, if you are doubting ever being able to find a soulmate relationship after losing one, let me tell you this: YOU WILL! Our brains will always allow us to recognize soulmates. Just give biology some time.
A letter to the has beens, could have beens and is
You either did not want to take a risk with me or you did and I thank you either way.
To the Has Beens that did take the risk, thank you. You were patient, kind, and loving. It didn’t work out and that’s okay. We taught each other what we needed to. We grew together and then apart and that’s how life is.
To the could have beens, you did not want to take a risk or were scared, and I get that. You weren’t ready to take a risk on something that could have been great. My only hope to you is that you’ve now learned how to put yourself out there more. Life is full of risks and it’s way too short to not take a few. Some work out and some do not and that’s how life is.
To the one that is. I cannot ever repay you for sticking by my side. You understand that life is all about patience, kindness and above all, love. You took a risk on me and I did the same with you. Life can be wonderful and the risks are worth it.
I love you all.
If you love this article, we know you’ll love this one too: You Were Meant to Be Happy
C.J. (Carolyn) Braden is a regular contributor and editor for Carolyn’s Blooming Creations. She has been featured in numerous media publications such as InStyle Magazine, on HGTV, on Bustle.com, and more. She is the author of the books Georgia McMasters in Amethyst Lake Cemetery, How To Be Yourself: 3 Ways To Help You Being You, and the illustrator for the children’s book Bridging Connections. She is a former classroom teacher that now dedicates her life to educating others on how to live their most healthy, creative and happy life. Learn more about her visiting our About Us page.