Carolyn J. Braden • 3 Minute Read
Finding Your Light When the Days Feel Dark
Originally published: 6/14/17
Updated: 8/15/25
Even on the darkest days, your inner spark is still there. These uplifting self-care tips and mindset shifts will help you find your light, boost your mood, and bring more joy to your day. Perfect for anyone needing a little daily motivation and mental health inspiration. This article shares mental wellness tips, mindful practices, and empowering reminders to keep your spark alive.
Your Spark > The Dark
I first wrote this in May 2017, published in June 2017, then finally updated it in 2025. At first I didn't know how to write about the subjects: Sadness and Depression. They are terribly hard to write about. You don't want to bum people out so you have to word it in a way that can heal and end the story with a happy ending if possible.
That's what I have done. I've turned my story into something that may sound like a storybook for young adults and older. That is when I began to feel the most sad in my life…young adulthood.
A teenager experiencing emotions is normal
My sadness started around age 9 or 10 and continued on and off into adulthood until I made some drastic life changes that included removing some people from my life and getting therapy. Therapy works and you can read more about the surprising secret of why it works here on Psychology Today’s website.
After getting therapy on and off for many years (by the way, therapy is always there for you and it doesn’t mean you are broken when you need help…asking for help is a braver thing than most want to believe and getting it when needed from a professional is normal as life is always throwing things that we may not want into our path). I went no contact (read more about NO CONTACT in The New Yorker) with some and while that was a very hard decision to make, my health demanded it.
So, here we go with my story that explains my article title inclusion of “dark days”. If you read until the end, you will find out why I published this and get more ideas on healthy ways to turn on your light on the dark days.
If you child or teen is sad, talk with them and see if they need more help
Let me tell you a story about a little girl. She was born into so much love. One day, her parents thought they fell out of love and decided to let go of each other.
The little girl pondered. "If they don't love each other anymore, does love even exist?"
Throughout this little girls life, she struggled with love. The idea. The concept. She tried and tried to be loved and love others, but it always felt like those around her pushed her away like her parents pushed each other away.
All ages need comforting
Life grew pretty dark for the little girl. Every time she loved, she lost. Every time she put her all into things, they seemed to slip away just like her parents relationship.
As the little girl grew up, she got to a really dark time. The darkness went away most of the time, but sometimes it lurked around for a while. Each time it lurked, the girl thought to herself "I don't think I'm supposed to be here anymore. I didn't ask to be born so why not give up? No one really loves me."
She pondered that dark thought a little too long once. The thought was so hard, the pain so intense, she cried and screamed out to the world "WHY AM I HERE!” then dropped to the floor, which was beginning to flood from her alligator-sized tears. Her chest felt tight, her hands hurt from falling to the floor and she felt completely and utterly defeated.
Little did she know, her cries were heard. There was always a little voice that said "You were put here for a reason” when she felt this way and she heard it again in this moment. It took years of being sad and feeling unwanted and unloved, and dismissing the voice, but this time she listened to it and understood.
She picked herself up off the tear soaked ground, asked for a hug from her best friend, put on some music and danced until her heart felt happy again.
The little girl had what are called "Dark Days". We all have Dark Days. I’d love to tell you that they stop once you reach adulthood, but they do not.
My question to you now is this: What can you do to bring yourself out of those dark moments in order to keep them from being dark days or even dark years?
I decided to publish this piece after having a dark moment due to all of the news stories about people shooting each other around the world. I decided I could let the new stories get me down or I could turn on my light and share how I cope with the dark moments now.
Here are healthy ways I cope with “dark days”:
I write and create fun crafts, recipes and more
I text or talk to and hug friends and loved ones
I journal
I listen to my favorite music
I dance
I take a walk…nature is very healing for me
I meditate or listen to calm sounds (I love the Calm app)
I lay on my grounding products (read about my love of grounding products here + get a discount code)
I read self help books and non-fiction books because I like hearing and learning about other people’s stories and lives.
I get therapy when needed, in person and virtually (which is something I love and it’s very convenient). Most recently, I’ve done EMDR therapy and I fully recommend it for anyone dealing with deep rooted traumas. Read more about it here on the Cleveland Clinic’s website. Traumas can stem from childhood, but are not limited to that. You can experience traumas from weather events, illnesses, loss and more.
Splatter painting is a great way to release anxiety, requires very little artistic talents, and you can see my splatter painted jean shorts project here or in my 1-minute video below or via my YouTube channel @carolynjbraden:
Books I have read (my therapist recommendations and ALL highly rated) that have helped me understand my own personal traumas very well:
The Body Keeps the Score (Amazon)
I process my feelings through doing all these things. I allow myself to feel the sadness, but work through it with ways that I know work for me. My hope is that for anyone reading this to understand…THE DARK DAYS WILL PASS.
Life’s challenges can dim our energy, but you hold the power to flip the switch.
My wish for the world is for people to start figuring out how to process their dark moments more quickly so they don't head down a violent or abusive path towards themselves and/or others. Knowing some of the things that exist in the world right now make me truly understand the saying "MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR."
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Carolyn J. Braden is the owner of Carolyn’s Blooming Creations is a regular contributor and editor for CBC. She has been featured in numerous media publications such as InStyle Magazine, on HGTV, on Bustle.com, and more. She is the author of the books Georgia McMasters in Amethyst Lake Cemetery, How To Be Yourself: 3 Ways To Help You Being You, and the illustrator for the children’s book Bridging Connections. She is a former classroom teacher that now dedicates her life to educating others on how to live their most healthy, creative and happy life. Learn more about her visiting our About Us page.