My 15th Mantra Series art piece: I am exactly where I’m supposed to be.
When I turned 30 almost 10 years ago, it started a series of years where I absolutely despised my birthday. Before that year, I celebrated, had parties, and had lots of fun.
The day I turned 30 was the end to that.
It wasn’t because I felt “old”. It wasn’t because I found a new wrinkle. It wasn’t because I was in a sad place (I was in Disney World on my 30th!) It was because I realized I had so many things I had not yet accomplished, and on that day, I felt like I never would.
I thought I was supposed to have the perfect house, the perfect children, the perfect family, and the perfect job all by the time I reached 30, but I felt like I did not. Instead of being happy that I had a nice house (that we were working on perfecting), I had a wonderful husband and pets (furry “kids” count to me!), I had a family (in which I created made up of wonderful friends and a few awesome family members), and I had a job (that inspired myself and children), I was seriously sad. Luckily, it didn’t last forever. I got the tears out of my system, stood up strongly, and carried on with life.
But, I still didn’t like celebrating my birthday.
As the years continued to pass, I realized no one told me I should have all those things by the time I was 30. I was the one putting all the pressure on myself to accomplish everything by a certain age.
A saying that helped me stop thinking I need to accomplish certain dreams and goals by a certain age is this mantra: “I am exactly where I’m supposed to be.”
I write it in my journal to remind myself that I don’t need to rush through life to accomplish everything I want to accomplish. I’ve realized things we want NEVER come to us as fast as we want them to. We must be patient, keep working on our goals and dreams at a reasonable pace and allow life to happen. For life can be beautiful IF we let it be.
As far as my birthday, I started celebrating it again. It took 8 years for a celebration of my birth to make sense, but I got there. At 38, I went to a fundraiser for the Humane Society with my husband and in-laws. At 39, I went to a dance club and watched a fun show with two friends (one new, one I’d known for years) and my amazing husband.
Who knows what my 40th will bring? Life is ever changing for me right now, so I’m not planning any events for my 40th. I’ve decided to let life happen and pick a celebration that is right for the time, June 11, 2019. My husband and I hope to be in an RV traveling at that time, so who knows what surprise life will bring that day. I have faith that life will serve it up in a beautiful way.
Backstory on my mantra series:
A mantra is a word, phrase, or sound that is repeated to aid in meditation. You could also compare it to a sort of prayer. I feel my journaling and writing of my mantras is a form of meditation or prayer. It calms me and helps me make better sense of my feelings and all the thoughts swimming around in my mind.
I believe saying or writing something repeatedly, as you already have it, aids one in attaining dreams and goals. If you write something as you already have it, it makes you feel, somehow, as if it is truly happening no matter how drastic or scary it may seem. It's like a trick to help your brain catch up to what your heart desires.