Carolyn J. Braden • 2 Minute Read
How to Tell the Difference Between What Love IS and IS NOT
Article originally published: 2/4/19
Article updated: 3/14/25
I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is. —Forrest Gump (Book written by Winston Groom, Screenplay written by Eric Roth)
The 32nd installment of my #MondayMantra series: I am loved
Shown a very clear message of what love IS NOT at an early age (and continue to be shown examples of it), I feel the effects.
I’ve gotten therapy for the situations, contemplate them, pray about them and write about them. Fortunately, I am able to cope and move on with my life after each and every example. It doesn’t mean I still don’t get sad or mad about past or current situations, but I don’t dwell on them and allow them to hold me back.
Art by Carolyn J. Braden, Media: Faber Castell PITT pens
Luckily, through seeing what love IS NOT, I was also shown what LOVE IS at a very early age and continue to see it. I think that is what enables me to be able to move away from what love IS NOT much more quickly.
Be a queen of love in my cute heart tiara! See how to create it in my 1-minute video below or via my YouTube channel @carolynjbraden:
Though I’d love to be able to give a clear definition to everyone regarding what LOVE IS, and what LOVE IS NOT, I can’t do that. You see, it’s different for each and every human. I can, however, educate you on how to come up with your own ways to decipher the difference between the two.
Pink heart cloud filled with love
How-to:
Notice your feelings and emotions when you are around certain people in your life. Either make a mental or an actual list of your feelings. If you always feel good after being around certain people or bad after being around certain people, that should help you determine what LOVE IS and what LOVE IS NOT to you.
Example: If you are around people that make you feel bad about yourself and your life choices, that may indicate WHAT LOVE IS NOT. If you are around people that lift you up and make you feel certain and good about your life choices, that may indicate WHAT LOVE IS. If you are unsure of how you feel after being around certain people, you may need to be around them more to be able to lock down exactly how you feel.
I also suggest writing “I AM LOVED” in a journal or saying it out loud every day. Then wait and see who comes to mind after writing or saying the phrase. Whoever comes to mind often may be exactly who you are truly loved by. When I write it, the first person that always comes to my mind is my husband. Then I have an overflow of other faces and names after that. Now THAT feels good!
Do small things with great love
Sending our light and love to all who need it!
Backstory on my mantra series:
A mantra is a word, phrase, or sound that is repeated to aid in meditation. You could also compare it to a sort of prayer. I feel my journaling and writing of my mantras is a form of meditation or prayer. It calms me and helps me make better sense of my feelings and all the thoughts swimming around in my mind.
I believe saying or writing something repeatedly, as you already have it, aids one in attaining dreams and goals. If you write something as you already have it, it makes you feel, somehow, as if it is truly happening no matter how drastic or scary it may seem. It's like a trick to help your brain catch up to what your heart desires.
If you loved this article, then we know you’ll love this one too: How to Make Washi Tape Pens for Journaling
Carolyn J. Braden is the owner of Carolyn’s Blooming Creations is a regular contributor and editor for CBC. She has been featured in numerous media publications such as InStyle Magazine, on HGTV, on Bustle.com, and more. She is the author of the books Georgia McMasters in Amethyst Lake Cemetery, How To Be Yourself: 3 Ways To Help You Being You, and the illustrator for the children’s book Bridging Connections. She is a former classroom teacher that now dedicates her life to educating others on how to live their most healthy, creative and happy life. Learn more about her visiting our About Us page.