Removing the Roadblocks: Try Heart-Based Decision Making

“Get quiet and listen to your heart, for it speaks. It speaks a beautiful language. A language that guides your life.” ---Carolyn J. Braden, 4.4.18

I’ve been doing heart-based decision making for a long time but had no idea it was a “thing” until reading about it recently. Here’s what it is: If your heart tells you to do something, you should start working to secure it today. It’s not about doing what others are doing. It’s doing something that YOU feel you need to do, deep inside your soul.

Here’s the tough part about heart-based decision making: There may be some roadblocks that pop up and seem to prevent your heart from getting what it wants. What do you do when you get a whole bunch of “no’s” to something your heart guided you to do? Do you give up or do you keep trying? If you keep trying, do you change anything about your approach?

My husband and I have had over a year’s worth of “no’s” thrown our way about our career path, but that hasn’t stopped us. We simply changed our approach. When someone has told us no, we have looked in other directions to make good things happen for us. It seems as if every time someone puts a roadblock in our way, we instantly search for a new path. I am a firm believer that the “no’s” only have come to us to push us towards the right path. The path of listening to our hearts.

We’ve learned that you can get what you want, but it may not look exactly how you pictured it in your mind and you need to be fine with that. My mind told me I shouldn’t have to have to quit my job before heading into my new career path, but my heart told me I needed to. So, I did. And life is still moving forward.

Here is some free advice I’ve compiled to share with whoever needs to hear it right now. They are all possible scenarios in which your heart may be presenting to you. I know there are a million other scenarios that your heart could be presenting that I don’t discuss below, but you can easily use my advice as a guide in your own situation.

·       Does your heart tell you that you should ask the person you love to marry you? Ask them. You are ready. It’s time. If they say yes, start planning a wedding, or just go get married. It’s not about the wedding, truly, if you think about it. It’s about the marriage. If they say no, ask them why. Talk through it. Maybe their answer isn’t no forever, but perhaps it’s not the right time.

·       Does your heart tell you that you are destined to work at a particular at a company? Track down a recruiter or someone that works there on LinkedIn and message them today. Go to a conference where the company will have representatives and introduce yourself. Send in your resume. Apply, apply, apply. If still nothing is happening, talk to someone at other similar companies and try that path.

·       Does your heart tell you to quit a job before securing another one? Start saving money, figure out your health and life insurance situation, then quit. Apply for other jobs or look into a new career path during your time off. Take some classes. Set some loose goals for what you’d like your future job to be and then work through them. I say “loose goals” because you should use your off time to work through what you like and don’t like. Remove the goals for the things that you figure out you don’t like during your “off” time and steer towards accomplishing the goals you like. If you are ever asked about the gap on your resume at a future job, tell them the truth. They’ll appreciate your honesty. If not, you wouldn’t want to work for them. I wouldn’t want to work for anyone I had to lie to in order to get a job.

·       Does your heart tell you to have a child (or adopt)? Talk to your partner, family or a close friend. This is something that you also need to talk through with someone that has children (if you don’t have any yet), then start the process. I don’t personally know a lot about adoption, but I know at least 3 people that have adopted and know they’d be a great resource I’d turn to if I decided to adopt.

·       Does your heart tell you to open your own business space? Figure out what business it should be first. Talk to other business owners about why they opened their own business. Do some market research to see if that business is needed where you live. If you don’t think it is, move to a new market. Once you are in the right city/state, get a business loan (if needed) or a partner and rent out a space. Set an opening date, hire (and well-train) employees, create a website (market it like crazy via social media and/or mailing) and open up for business. Have an open house (market it again like crazy) to personally meet all your new customers. Keep track of sales, treat your employees well, and enjoy being your own boss.

·       Does your heart tell you that you are ready to buy a house or move to a new one? Hire a great real estate agent and let them do the work. A friend of mine (that lives in a different city than I) told me he interviewed several before picking one out. I like that idea, especially if you don’t know of a great one already. You can sell a house yourself, but honestly, paying a good agent is worth all the hassle. Go to the neighbors in a neighborhood you like and ask them what they like and don’t like about living in the area. I know someone that did this recently and it proved to very effective for her. If you want to live in a certain neighborhood where homes never seem to be for sale, send letters to people in the neighborhood asking them to keep you in mind if they ever decide to sell. I knew someone that did this as well. She sent over 40 letters to addresses in a specific neighborhood and this process helped her score her dream home

·       Does your heart tell you it’s time to buy a new car? Research like crazy on this one. Google this “[car model]+[brand]+problems”. You will find a lot of information about all the issues the specific car you want has. This will allow you to know what to expect as it ages and if it is a cost-efficient choice for your budget. You can do this really effectively if it’s a car model and brand that’s been around for a while. Also, talk to people that have owned one before. If you see someone driving one in your neighborhood or even randomly out and about, go up to the person and ask them about it. Ask them why they like it and if there is anything they don’t like about it. Ask what they’ve had to get repaired on it, as you’ll find many car brands have similar issues at certain points in their ages.

As you have read above, there is research and education involved with heart-based decision making. Don’t let this deter you. If your heart sends you a message, do the work required to make it happen. Break through the roadblocks or find ways around them. It will take time, but my heart tells me it will be worth it in the end.


Art by Carolyn J. Braden: Removing Roadblocks

Art by Carolyn J. Braden: Removing Roadblocks