Instead of looking at me and seeing everything you are not, look at me and see everything that you can be. ---Carolyn J. Braden, 6/28/2017
I found the quote above (that I wrote) in my phone a while back and felt guided to share it today. Jealousy has been a topic on my mind recently. As my husband and I are preparing to do some traveling, we have had numerous people tell us they are jealous of our upcoming adventures. They haven't said it in a mean way or anything, but it stuck in my mind.
I believe jealousy stems from wanting what someone else has. The first question that pops into my brain when someone says they are jealous of me or something I am doing is "Why?". Then I say, "Hey, you can do it to!". People generally laugh it off when I say this but NEVER say "Yeah, you know what, you are right! I can do it too!".
If we all looked at the other choices people were making and said positive phrases to ourselves like "I can do that too!", that would squash jealousy right then and there. I think feelings of jealousy bring upon other harsh feelings like resentment and anger.
A few years ago, my mom and I had a very frank and direct conversation. We had a conversation about why she left when I was seven. We really dug into things. At one point in the conversation, she told me she had always been jealous of me. She told me the feelings started when I was a little girl. Everyone would always comment on how cute I was or how talented I was and it made her feel jealous when all the attention was going to me. I asked her "Why didn't it make you feel proud instead of jealous? You birthed me, gave me this brain, this body, my looks, my talents. I am here because of you. Don't ever feel jealous of me. Just be proud that you are my mother.". She apologized to me and I forgave her. It was the first time in my adult life that either of my parents had ever apologized to me, and it was a beautiful thing. I felt I had a better and much deeper understanding of our relationship after that conversation. I also know there was some harbored resentment and frustration that was set free after that day as well.
Release your jealousy. You must understand the talents people have and the "things" people have are because of a lot of hard work. If you want what someone else has, ask them how they got it. Change your feelings of jealousy into motivation. Study the people that inspire you. Don't be afraid to imitate them, for imitation is the best form of flattery. Ask for help. Just be sure you give credit to those that helped you along the way. If someone doesn't want to share their "secrets of success" with you, then find someone else who will. I'd be more than happy to help anyone (and always have) if they wanted it. Just email me! firstname.lastname@example.org