Do you ever find yourself looking at someone when they are talking and wonder why they just won’t stop or have a strong feeling like you should run away? I only do that sometimes. It’s usually when I know I’m right about something and they are completely wrong. It’s also usually when I feel bad energy spewing from them.
What do you do when caught in a moment with this type of person, whom I call a “wrong talker”? I’ve tried dealing with them a couple of different ways and maybe, just maybe, one of them can help you deal with them the next time you cross paths.
- You just let them get it out. Sometimes that is the best way to keep peace. Usually when you encounter this person and their long talks, you’ve tried to interrupt to correct them in the past and it did not go over well. So, it’s sometimes not worth it and you need to let that go. Stick around and let them talk. Eventually they will stop.
- Find a good stopping point in their speech (because remember, they are doing all the talking) and say something like “Hey, can we take a break for a minute? I’m trying to process what you are saying but I need a second to think.” They may get mad at you for stopping their train of thought. Oh well, they’ll get over it.
What does not work ever? Running away. No matter how hard it is to let them keep talking, to hear them say wrong thing after wrong thing, running away will make it worse. They will still have an internal need to say what they needed to say. Most people that talk on and on and on (and are incorrect with many things they are saying) have been stewing on the thoughts for a period of time. People have internal monologues all the time in which they start to make stuff up in their mind. Stuff that doesn’t really exist in real life, but it does in their mind. Running away doesn’t allow them to get it out and they’ll track you down and finish their thought at some point. Usually they’ll be mad when they have to track you down so it’s best to let them get it out in the first round.
Dealing with this type of person could happen again in your life, but if so, you will recognize it and be able to use your skills to cope quickly. Hopefully you will be able to eradicate this type of person from your life and not attract that type of person again.
It is my hope that this type of person (“wrong talker”) finds a better way to get their thoughts out. If you, yourself, are the person that does all the talking and are stewing on your thoughts, try writing them down before you say any of them to someone. You may just find that you don’t need to have that conversation with your victim after all.